No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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