Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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