Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
