So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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