my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
