I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm both gender and math confused
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
