Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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