When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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