Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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