I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
They should really pass out barf bags in church
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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