Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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