I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
