I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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