covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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