I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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