I hate your face
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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