The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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