Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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