I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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