im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize