I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
