if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
