A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
