I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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