Do you still have your period?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
