but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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