Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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