So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Two words: blizzard sex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
