I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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