Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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