I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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