its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
