i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize