I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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