i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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