im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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