grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
