Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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