i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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