I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Even my vagina gasped.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize