i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
