Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize