i don't plan on having that self control this summer
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
