You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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