i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
