Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
