So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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