I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
