Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize