just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's the barista slut.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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