Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
