What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize