Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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