Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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