I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
