I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
